Family Man of Family Auto Mart
Local auto dealership commercials have always been difficult to watch. Just when you think you have seen the worst, along comes “The Family Man.” He wrote, directed, and unfortunately stars in his own infomercial for his Family Auto Mart car dealership in Florida. One rule of advertising is to be memorable. He succeeds here in the memorable category. Watch if you dare, but head to the bathroom first. You may wet yourself watching this assclownery.
If your band’s best gig in the past year was at 11:45 p.m. on a Wednesday at O’Gara’s Garage and you really think that your cover of “Jessie’s Girl” sounds “just like the original,” then you already know you are a no-talent ass-clown and should just unplug everything.
Being in a band is tough. Marketing a band is even harder (at least it was before YouTube and MySpace). But most bands don’t consider the ramifications of their name. A bad name can sink a band. Would you ask your friends to go see The Asbestos Tampons? Do you want your girlfriend to say she’s dating the lead singer of SuperHeavyGoatAss?
Here are some basic rules for creating a band name:
1.) Don’t put the word “Funk” anywhere in the name. You aren’t “funky” despite what that 44-year-old drunk cougar dancing in front of your monitor says.
2.) Don’t use your real name unless you are freakishly good (i.e. Hendrix, Dylan, etc.). We already know you have lead singer disease; we don’t need to know what it’s called. It’s probably not a cool name anyway (ahem… Tim Mahoney). Try modesty. People like that.
3.) Don’t put a number in your band name because you think 3 Doors Down rocks. It worked for 311, Matchbox 20, 3rd Eye Blind, etc. but they are the exception. Numbers are retarded. Don’t do it.
4.) Don’t try to be clever and do a play on words. Examples of this unoriginal douschebaggery include, Statutory Grape, Chevy Metal, and Clusterfunk (they get a double word score on ass Scrabble). The only exception here was a band back in the day called REO Speedealer. They were cool, but I don’t think they cared about getting “big.”
So you get the idea. A list of the newest worst real band names was published recently by the Onion A.V. Club. Check it out.
Share with us some bad Minnesota band names. Got a rule for naming a band? Let’s hear that too.
Posted in Books Music Movies & Entertainment, Marketing & Advertising, Minnesota
Tagged Band band names, Bands that suck, Minneapolis Music, Minnesota Music, MN Music, music marketing, Naming your band, O’Gara’s Garage, Onion A.V. Club worst real band names, Tim Mahoney, Worst Band Names of 2007, YouTube
What’s better than a ginormous burrito from Chipotle? A blimp-sized burrito from Chipotle. I am addicted to the steak fajita burrito and a huge fan of their marketing. With Super Bowl ads costing an average of $3 million for a 30-second spot, I think Chipotle should take its outdoor advertising brilliance a step further with a giant foiled blimp. Besides the visual impact blimpvertising has, the amount of free media coverage would be priceless. What do you think about that? Do you have an idea for Chipotle or any other brand? Send it my way, it may makes its way to this blog.
Photo Source: The Consumerist
The Consumerist reported a story this week shedding light on some poor guy’s misfortune of trying to buy a Western Digital hard drive from Best Buy. What happened? He brought the hard drive home only to find it was really a box full of tile. Best Buy’s remedy to the situation was to send him home without a refund. Ouch! Western Digital or Best Buy better step to the plate and make this right or Christmas sales are gonna take a hit. I’ve heard of this happening before. Anyone else experience something like this?
Comments Off on Best Buy sells man a box of tiles
Posted in Marketing & Advertising, Minnesota
Tagged Best Buy, Best Buy box of tiles, Best Buy Hard Drive, Poor Customer Service, Retail news, Western Digital
Me and Dick at the 2007 Minnesota State Fair
Through blood, lots of sweat apparently (see picture), and tears, Dick Enrico has punished the competition in the world of fitness gear. He’s used a strategy not so different from other brands in the past: being in front of everyone and creating a memorable company image by casting himself in his commercials. Sure, he may look like the love child of Ron Jeremy and Gaucho Marx, but you have to admit, he’s memorable. Who do you think of when you are considering a new treadmill or weight bench? That’s right, Dick Enrico.
Steady television spots, bathroom advertising, and bobbleheads are an equation that made 2nd Wind Exercise Equipment roughly $80 million in sales last year. His strategy is simple: Be somewhere everyone goes … Restrooms. So when you are on the shitter feeding the fish, he’ll be there feeding you info about Elliptical machines. I’m totally okay with that.
Who called in the bomb scare at Dolphin Stadium yesterday? No one, and that’s what sad. It was reported that only about 400 people attended the FL Marlins v. Washington Nationals game on 9/12/07. This shot of the stadium seems to show even less.
Granted they are in no danger of making the playoffs, but what has happened to this club? They have a couple World Series appearances and have had some good players on the field. So where do they go from here? And more importantly, can marketing help?
If you were in charge of marketing for this team, what would you do next season to get seats in the seats?
We all know about companies leveraging YouTube to get in front of their customers again. This couldn’t be truer with brands that are targeting youth. Marketers know that success has been made creating a genuine word-of-mouth dialogue about brands through user-generated content. Those who get it understand that it is a short-lived, but powerful tool. Many will take a stab at it and fail miserably. Some will get lucky … like McDonald’s did this summer with these two tools. However, some people think “it’s the most annoying commercial ever” and insinuate that it isn’t “quality” content.
What naysayers don’t understand is that this UGC spot wasn’t created for adults or for people who take advertising too seriously. It was created for teenagers who eat fast food a hundred times a week. It was created to be entertaining. McDonald’s is doing the smart thing by using it on for its TV spot without altering it and or polishing it up for television. I saw it this morning at about 6:30 at a time when students are sure to be getting ready for school. It’s not genius; it’s just good strategy.
Despite what is being said about BudTV, they did something right with this spot. Get ready to laugh your F&*$^#! ass off.
Duck Duck Gray Duck 
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