Tag Archives: Brazil

A Snowball’s Chance in Brazil

soccer-self-wedgie-wtf

The World Cup kicks off in less than three weeks and Team USA has a 259-to-1 chance of winning the whole thing. (Quick, cue the video)

In other words, your money is probably safer elsewhere. As seen on sports betting/news hub Betfair, you can apparently wager on just about anything, from obscure sports such as darts and snooker to international political races to crap reality television like “Big Brother” or even the weather. Yes, the weather. Seriously, you can bet on almost anything.

And at 259-to-1, anything is a better bet than the boys in red, white and blue bringing home the trophy. Let’s take a look at some far-fetched things that actually have a better chance of happening than Team USA winning it all:

The Minnesota Twins winning the American League pennant: 84-to-1

Minnesota Vikings winning the Super Bowl: 99-to-1

Vikings winning the NFC Championship: 29-to-1

California Chrome winning the Triple Crown: 5-to-4

Andrew Talansky (the most favored American) winning the Tour de France: 249-to-1

Hillary Clinton winning the 2016 presidential election: 5-to-4

Sarah Palin winning the 2016 presidential election: 79-to-1

Minnesota Senator Amy Klobucher winning the Democratic nomination for the 2016 Presidential election: 64-to-1

Ricky Martin being the winning judge on The Voice: 7-to-5

Woman almost gets hit by train after retrieving phone

A Brazilian girl nearly dies while trying to retrieve her phone after it had fallen onto train tracks at Corinthians-Itaquera subway station. Story.

Terrifying Video of Spiders Everywhere in Brazil

This video shows thousands of Anelosimus eximius spiders showering the sky in Santo Antônio de Plantina, Brazil. They will also be showering my dreams tonight.

See also: Spider explosion.
Spider Found Living In Woman’s Ear Canal
Snake-eating spider
Brown Recluse spider bite

Tortoise survives for 30 years locked in storeroom

Family discover missing pet tortoise in locked store room 30 YEARS after she vanished…and she’s still alive. Full story.

tortoise 1

Photo via TV Globo. Alone time: Manuela was finally discovered alive inside a box containing an old record player when the family decided to clear out a locked store room (above). Tortoise looks pissed.

Notes:
1. Manuela (tortoise) disappeared from her home in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, in 1982
2. Found when owners finally cleared out storage room after family member died
3. Vet believes she survived by eating termites from the wooden floors
4. She looks pissed. Poor thing probably craved a leafy green salad with crickets on a daily basis.

tortoise-family

 

Brazilian elevator ghost prank

Witness genuine fear on an elevator in Brazil, where pranksters put people through a terrifying ordeal. Let’s just say I would need a clean pair of underwear after going through this.

View more pranks here.

Incredibly Stupid

Brazilian man proved when he painted himself to look like the Incredible Hulk - and found the color wouldn't wash off.

Incredibly stupid Brazilian man painted himself to look like the Incredible Hulk and found the color wouldn’t wash off.

Pool attendant Paulo Henrique dos Santos, from Vila Cruzeiro, dressed up as his favorite comic book hero for a running event, but was crestfallen when the time came to remove the green paint.

After frantic scrubbing, the hapless chap realized he’d used a paint reserved for ballistic missiles and nuclear submarines.

Read more: 

Brazilian man proved when he painted himself to look like the Incredible Hulk - and found the color wouldn't wash off.