Tag Archives: stupid criminals

Moron drug dealers get paranoid trafficking and call 911 on themselves

Leland Ayala-Doliente, 22, and Holland Sward, 23, were traveling from Las Vegas to Bozeman, Montana, with some 20 pounds of marijuana. Court documents show the men were using marijuana during their trip and when they entered Idaho, they felt they were being followed by undercover police officers.

Rexburg Police Cpt. Randy Lewis told EastIdahoNews.com that at the time they weren’t being followed by anyone.

Once they reached Rexburg, the pair exited U.S. Highway 20, parked their car and called 911. They said they just wanted the police to stop following them.

When police officers arrived, they say both men had their hands behind their heads. Court documents show Sward said to an officer, “We got caught and we’re surrendering.”
East Idaho News | via

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18 Things Not To Say To A Cop

Eighteen Things Not To Say To A Cop

Here is a quick list of eighteen things not to say to a cop and the responses you should expect.

“Well, I know the Chief of Police” Really, well you two can discuss this ticket when you hang out next.

“I pay your salary” Funny, I say the same thing to the cops where I live; guess we’re even.

“You guys should go fight real crime” Oh good idea sir/ma’am! Could you point me to the address? I’ll let the other cars know too. I’m assuming you were going to call us and let us know where it was before I stopped you so this turned out to be perfect timing!

“These aren’t my pants” “That’s not my baggie” “I didn’t know that was there” Right, and these aren’t my handcuffs either. *click click*

“You’re never there when I need you” I was too busy trying to reach my quota.

“I know my rights” I now know there is a 98.7% chance you do not.

“You wouldn’t be so tough without that badge and gun” And you wouldn’t be so irritating if you exercised your right to remain silent.

“Take these cuffs off and we’ll see who is tough” Remember that one time you didn’t have cuffs on and I put them on you and brought you to jail?

Tells their children “They’re here to arrest/get you!” Good job mom or dad, way to try to make a future customer for me rather than a future partner. Just great.

“Don’t you know who I am?” Hold on, let me reach into my bag of “give a craps.” Nope, none left.

“My [insert name of relative] is a lawyer!” Well if he’s a good lawyer, he’ll have enough money to bail you out, you may be in luck!

“I’m gonna have your job” But I thought you didn’t like cops? (sidenote: this joke generally goes over their heads)

“You should have been a firefighter” A recliner, big screen TV and fresh food sound good right about now. Maybe you’re right!

“Anyone else smell bacon?” Did you say bacon!? Where!?

“I get it, you’re just trying to meet a quota” Yes, you were going 57 in a 35 because I have a quota…makes perfect sense sir.

“You’re not gonna take fingerprints off of that rock?” Nope. Normally I would but our machine that I can put the fingerprint in and get the result in 3 seconds before commercial break is broken.

“I’m not driving, I’m traveling” Ok fair enough: I’m not gonna drive you to jail, I’m going to travel with you there.

“I swear to drunk I’m not God” Great…I think I need a drink.

via Humanizing the Badge

Fastest Judge Judy decision, EVER

The woman is accusing these two idiots of stealing her wallet.

BhT9yks

PYLpHKt2 b7d7nqz3 InchgN04 zjszRX45 idiots

Funny mugshots

They fought the law and the law won. However, they are now winning the internet.

funny_mugshots_26

Stupid criminals

Counterfeiting fail.
Stupid Criminals
via

Police Planking

Planking on a cop car and posting it to Facebook will give you the opportunity to do some planking in prison.Police Planking

(via)

Strange News Link Dump

Male congressmen now being inundated with knit and crocheted vag

Our crazy world: Weird news headlines you may have missed.

A show at a private girls’ high school in Sherbooke, Que., went strangely awry when a young hypnotist left several students in “mass hypnosis” limbo and he had to call in his mentor to snap them out of it. Full Story

Teens face felonies after allegedly stealing cop radio and broadcasting, “F**k the police.” Full Story

Male congressmen now being inundated with knit and crocheted vaginas. Full Story

Jack Osbourne diagnosed with MS. Full Story

Arsenio Hall returning to late-night TV with a new late-night talk show. I have always like Arsenio. I hope this works out for him. Read more.

Elderly Church Choir Sings Nelly’s “Hot In Here”Watch Video

Idiot

Idiot steals gas from cop car, posts picture on Facebook, and goes directly to jail.

From Gizmodo: This is Michael Baker. Michael is 20 years old, lives in Kentucky, and likes The Bucket List on Facebook. I know these things because Michael has not activated his Facebook privacy settings, which is something that’s recommended in most cases but absolutely essential if you’re going to post pictures of yourself stealing gas from a cop car on your wall.

The theft occurred last month, according to The Smoking Gun; that’s when Baker raised his middle finger at his girlfriend’s camera while slurping up gas from a Jenkins City police cruiser. He was arraigned yesterday in Letcher County District Court.

Baker has since taken down the incriminating photo, as well as a few updates he had apparently left along the way (sample: “yea lol i went too [sic] jail over facebook.”). Which, yes, lol indeed.

Cleanup on aisle 5

This is wrong on so many levels.

Cleanup on aisle 5

(via)

Mugger picks wrong victim

Next time you decide to rob someone, make sure he’s not an MMA fighter first.

Mugger picks wrong victim
(details here)
Thanks Bag of Nothing

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