Author Archives: J.J. Bugs

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Relationships naturally ebb and flow. They’re a roller coaster of emotions that escalate in excitement and descend into disappointment. Over the course of your relationship, you’ll find a consistent level, but the dips and rises will come and that’s what truly makes them interesting. We’d be bored and try to stir up trouble if our relationships remained monotone, but while the consistency and rises are fun, the dips can leave you a little shaken, especially when the dip lasts longer than you expected. Your stomach drops, your head spins and you’re suddenly confused with where it is all going.

Where you are today could be completely different from where you are tomorrow, next week and even next year. However, it’s time to act if you’re currently stuck at the bottom of the roller coaster, Use these 5 revival tips to get you and your partner back up to the top.

1. Change the Way You Communicate
Think about the last ten conversations you had with your partner. Did they revolve around work, the kids or another common topic that has hijacked your conversations. You start to run out of things to say once you get to be comfortable with your partner and see them all the time. People automatically default to what’s easy like work and the kids. And granted, those topics do take up 80% of your day, but that doesn’t mean you always have to talk about them. If you’re been kicking around the same conversation, change it up and try to really connect again. Ditch the surfacey conversations and try to bond again. Tell each other stories from your childhood. Discuss your thoughts on Syria or even Miley Cyrus. 

2. Get Creative in the Bedroom:
It’s easy to fall into a bedroom routine. After awhile, you’ve tried most moves, you’ve found what works and you just stick to it. Get rid of that mentality immediately and set out to get inspired. Take your partner to a sex store or visit one online like Adam & Eve. Look at all the toys, movies and lingerie and see what sparks your interest. Read an erotic novel or two, throw in some role playing or take your bedroom fun to another location. Figure out how you can pull yourself out of your sexual rut and begin initiating sex a whole lot more. 

3. Get Away:
Sometimes the stress of life and the banality of it all can take a toll on your relationship. Get yourself refreshed, relaxed and feeling closer by skipping town for a  weekend or a whole week. Go as elaborate as Aruba or as tame as a little camping in a town over. Disconnect from work, your friends and family and focus on enjoying each others time and company.

4. Create Goals Together:
Relationships can feel stagnant at times if you’re both not working towards something and I’m not necessarily talking about marriage or a certain career. Instead, find goals that the two of you can work towards together, like running a 5K, building a new bed, learning how to cook and then set out to do it. You’ll feel great because you’re successfully moving forward while also spending quality time with your partner. You may even end up healthier, smarter or handier once it’s all said and done. Set another goal when you’ve achieved the first one. 

5. Forget the Past: 
You may be feeling stuck at the bottom of the roller coaster if you’re constantly dwelling on past issues. Maybe your partner cheated, maybe they have an  ex that still talks to them  or maybe they just really made you mad. Whatever it is, it’s time to drop it if you’ve decided you still want to be with them. Harping on the past won’t make it go away or make you feel better. In fact, it’s more likely to destroy what you have. So make a pact today that the two of you are going to move forward and let the past be the past. Start new and you’ll find you both feel better.